3 July 2010
Wales hates vowels
Today I went to Cardiff, capital of Wales. And yes there will be lots of photos. So strap your pants, we ride nightmare.
Wales really does hate vowels, the official language is still idiot, despite hardly any idiot speakers left, this means that the signs and announcements at train stations are made in English and Hobbit or whatever language they speak.
I will talk about some specific things with the pictures below, but theres a few things that didnt get into photos worth mentioning.
Inbreeding seems to be the main hobby in Cardiff, I saw a lot of people who would be cover shot candidates in the big book of british smiles.
Also, there are only white people, theres no asians, africans or indians, at all. After a while when I noticed I started trying to spot any and still couldnt. Even in the 'Chinese and Indian buffet' restaurant there was only white people working.
Cardiff seems to be the place to go for a hens night, if you are 40+ and getting married. I saw a huge number of groups of older women in pink bunny outfits or glitter wigs or similar all wearing sashes declaring if they were the bride to be or maid of honour etc. The scary thing about this is that they were already out and about drinking at 11am in the morning, its a good thing I am leaving before it gets dark! Things could get very ugly.
To get to Cardiff its a 2 hour train ride. It sounds impressive getting to another country in this time. And the train does occasionally go fast as you can see, but it also goes infuriatingly slowly for long periods of time, I am sure the journey could be cut to 1.5 hours.
Also, trains are noisier and far bumpier than jets, old people (trains are 90% old people) were attempting to break their hips every time they got up from their seat. My pepsi fell over twice (with the lid on).
The lastminute.com ticket I bought allowed first class on the way for 2 pounds extra so I thought I might as well try that.
Its not even worth 2 pounds (and it generally costs 15).
You get a slightly better chair but its club seating so you stare at someone the whole way.
I decided to go to the buffet car and see what was going on after an hour of waiting for first class service (there is none, I expected a service cart).
So I order a skinny latte, and the guy says 'arent you in first?' to which I said yes.
He tells me coffee is free if you are in first, awesome I think, skinny latte please. He then tells me only instant style coffee is free. Hmmm, Skinny latte please? I hold out my 2 pounds.
He then tells me 'but youre in first, you get free instant coffee' and gives me an instant coffee. 'Anything else? you are entitled to a free cookie.' I accepted one free shortbread cookie, the kind you would get in a hotel.
So thats what first class gets you.
OK, I assumed that in this day and age crap didnt literally fall out the bottom of trains, but it appears it does.
Heres the street in Cardiff near the station, it looks a lot like London here. Apparently its all quite new, only declared as a city in the early 1900's.
BOOF, gastronomic fast food. Boof is welsh for eat, its one of only 3 words with any vowels.
I paid a small fortune to get into Cardiff castle, dont make me catapult you.
There will be many castle pictures, I had to try and get my moneys worth.
Heres the older part of the castle.
And now im half way up the older part of the castle, apparently this area used to be a grand hall with a roof.
Im getting near the top now.
This picture is pretty redundant.
And now I am at the top, looking down at the moat, keeping an eye out for invading hens night birds (correct usage of birds, tarts would also work).
ITS ME!
This is the Cardiff central market, it is one of the main attractions. I am sorry but the Adelaide central market is the best market in the entire world, at least the world that I have been to, and I am not just saying that cause I am from there, generally I would bash Adelaide rather than defend it!
Cardiff central market is mainly people selling English football team merchandise for 50p. There was also a cheese shop selling weight watchers biscuits and nutella.
Japanese guitar shops > English guitar shops.
This is the outdoor mall area, its actually really nice, reminded me a lot of Adelaide, theres also a huge internal connected mall off to one side of it. I think pretty much every thing there is retail wise in Cardiff is right in the centre of the city.
The famous Millennium stadium, completed in 2002.
Out the back of the castle theres a nice park, lots of people out and about having picnics, I studied the map for the location of the public toilets, nope. Hmmm, there must be one the place is huge and theres a thousand people. Hang on, thats the 2nd guy ive seen urinating against a tree, and wait whats that woman doing....OK I best head back to the shopping area before I also need to put on a show.