Melbourne to Cairns
Just over a year ago, I was all set to head off to Japan after having cancelled the 2 previous years due to the ongoing pandemonium. Everything was pointing to the borders surely being reopening by November, surely? The various old guys that form the almost entirely male parliament of Japan started talking about pure Japanese blood and the risk of non pure blood causing mutations in the until now pure strains of COVID that Japan had been blessed with. Come mid October 2022, the messaging seemed to revert back to 'Japan is closed to any non Japanese'. So for the third year in a row I cancelled my annual trip and re booked to head back to Korea for the second time in a year, which you can also read all about on this website.
Of course, after hearing I had cancelled my trip, literally as soon as the government of Japan could coordinate an emergency meeting via facsimile, they immediately threw open the borders, going from being the last country in the world other than North Korea with restrictions, to having zero restrictions of any kind. But they had succeeded in keeping me out.
Fast forward a year and I am off to Melbourne airport for my flight to the former second last hermit kingdom on earth, via Cairns. The first leg to Cairns takes about 3.5 hours. I do not think I have been to Cairns airport before, so that is kind of exciting.
Backtracking slightly, as I do, naturally, the Skybus to Melbourne airport featured people who clearly had ebola and galloping knob rot (that is a real thing, look it up).
Describing how sick everyone is will be a constant feature of this ridiculously long diatribe, the highlight of the bus illnesses was the woman with whooping cough so bad she was sobbing and seemed to be saying 'why will nobody help me?' between desperate gasps for air.
So on that note, evidently Australia is now in a secret seventh wave and Japan has banned all discussion of their superior ninth wave. As usual, Japan is ahead of Australia.
I think a recent trip my first photo featured the blight of all society, the rental scooter. So to celebrate the fact that people keep dying on these things while drunk weekly, and occasionally killing innocent old ladies, here is a photo of the government sponsored population control devices.
The Virgin lounge had nutri grain. Very important and exciting news. Without this there would be a niacin deficiency in my diet today.
And now for jet 1 of 2 for the day. An older 737. This one will take me to Cairns. It is the model that is not famous for plummeting out of the sky, I will be on one of those new ones later. This photo deliberately shot through filthy glass.
Cairns Airport
I am currently in the Cairns international departure hall for the first time in my life. It is tiny. The domestic terminal was surprisingly huge and busy, but here in international, mine is the only flight leaving for another 7 hours, and it is a tiny plane.
The flight to get here was full of holidaying families, horrible. A stark reminder of the horrors of having children. Multiple children watched bluey and or peppa pig on ipads with no headphones, just loud pig and dog noises for 3.5 hours.
Actually before taking off we waited in a queue on the ground in Melbourne for a runway inspection for 30 minutes, this is the second time that has happened to me recently. So I am here in Cairns a bit later than expected, sandwiches are $13 so I am not buying, there is no lounge, and my 7.5 hour flight to Tokyo requires paying for food. I guess I will starve then.
Here is the Cairns international departures hall. The Virgin desk is manned but it seems almost everyone is transferring from other cities, they even mentioned it on my Melbourne flight, 'for all those heading to Tokyo...'. Cairns is the spot to transfer as it is the only airport in Australia from which Japan is in range using such small jets. Why does this photo look blurry?
This is my plane. The terrifying 737 max! Famous for a software glitch that so far murdered about 350 people and nearly sent Boeing broke. I made sure to also take this photo through dirty tinted glass, it helps with the realism. Note it's ridiculous wing tips inspired by star wars.
And for the last pic from Australia unless something interesting finally happens, here is the departure area of the international terminal. There will probably be a third update tonight when I get to my Tokyo hotel, because I know everyone is super excited about hotel photos for some ridiculous reason (this sentence is not sarcasm, unlike most others).
Flying to Tokyo on a Boeing 737 Max
A rare third update. This level of multiple updates only happens on my journey to my destination. Although this 3rd update is a bit different and will be a mix of future, present and past tenses and chronologically all over the place. Right now I am typing this bit, while sitting on the plane. Still about 2 hours to go. The flight has been a pleasant surprise. It is only about half full and I have an entire block of 3 seats to myself. There are a lot of Japanese people onboard, which is also surprising. The remaining guests are almost entirely weeaboos with their pink hair and cat ear headphones. They have enough room to form some sort of club house in the middle of the plane and compare pokemons. I really think people that did not know each other before the flight are playing some kind of card game across about 4 rows. Finally, there is also one old grumpy white guy, typing on his laptop.
The 737 max is quiet like a dreamliner, I guess it has new style engines, and some plastic bits to make it lighter so that it can make the journey from Australia to Japan. So far the seats seem good, about 5 hours in. I bought cheese and crackers and an orange juice, food on the plane is actually cheaper than food in the airport, by a considerable margin. So that is enough for now, but there will be a bit more procedural ramblings below this line... once I land, get to my hotel, and type a bit more.
Now as promised, the final bit.
I am in my hotel. Exiting Haneda airport was smooth enough, I had the 2 x QR codes you need these days so I could bypass queues. It took a while for the plane to find a parking spot, it was a really long but welcome walk to immigration, and then all the bags took a while to come. Once outside the controlled area, the ATM is right there and the monorail is about 50 metres away. Somehow I got an express so that was great.
This ends this long day of typing stuff.
Here is a photo of the sunset I took out the window of the plane. This is also an unusual activity for me. You see, on long flights on big twin aisle jets, I prefer an aisle seat in the middle block of 3 or 4 seats. But since this is a tiny plane with only one aisle up the middle, there is no middle block. I normally do not take my laptop out on flights either, but since I have a whole block of 3 seats to myself, there is room for my elbows, and I can also press my camera against the window for a sunset view. Soak it in.
Time for a monorail. As seen in Ogdenville.
Proof that I went on the monorail. I do not look as dried up and wrinkled as usual due to it being a day time flight with lots of room to sit.
Now prepare yourselves for peak excitement, here is my hotel room. It is Sotetsu Fresa Kanda. I have not stayed at a Fresa Inn before, I normally seem to prefer the Nazi imperial Apa chain, but when I booked my accommodation a year ago, Sotetsu was the only cheap chain available. The room seems identical to Apa except there are no free books declaring that the owner wants to cut my head off.
A toilet. Bed time!