The limo service to Melbourne airport and the Emirates lounge
I am travelling back in time, but during this reverse time travel I still get fed meals as if its normal time.
This starts with a pre dinner dinner in the Emirates lounge here in Melbourne airport, a place I have not been to before.
It is significantly better than the Qantas business lounge but not as good as the Qantas first lounge, main reasons being, no sit down restaurant service with silver service and a menu, and no free spa treatments - both things I need a lot of.
My ticket involves a free limo transfer from my home to the airport, which insisted on being 3 hours before the flight and then turned up 30 minutes early. It turned out to be a Mercedes work van painted black with bench seating, but it was 'free'.
Melbourne airport is currently being renovated entirely, and there are no flights leaving at the same time as mine, so the place was completely deserted. Customs had no line at all.
Apparently I get internet on the plane between here and Dubai, I predict that will be frustration as the internet in the Emirates lounge is port 80 only which means I have to hot spot my phone to do anything on the internet as opposed to just browse web pages about Kim Kardashians big ass breaking the internet.
Now full of dinner, I might go for a walk and check out the building sites where shops and restaurants used to be.
This is the view from my apartment at dawn this morning.
My flight is leaving at 2130 in the evening, but I took this photo to remind me where I live whenever I wrote this.
The inside of my limo, no sky roof to stand out of and yell at people.
My tickets and all important express customs pass thing. I thought it was important but since there is no one here, it was not important at all.
No need to fight for a seat in here.
Part 1 of meal 1 is fillet steak and vegetables. Delicious.
Part 2 of meal 1 is just some fruit despite the plethora of chocolates, and of course dates on offer. People from the middle east love dates, camels and holding a grudge.
Flying business class to Dubai on Emirates
For the first time ever, I have used wifi in the sky. I have used 3G/4G in the sky before illegally over Australia but this is different.
Emirates provide a satellite service so it works out in the middle of the Indian Ocean, or over the Great Australian Bight/Bite/Byte so you can tweet your own demise.
It worked great at first, but it got slower as the flight went on as more people decided to give it a try, until it basically didnt work as we were on approach to Dubai.
I have been severely over fed, and continuously turned away food, and much to the confusion of every single hostess on board, I did not want wine or champagne or any other kind of drink every 4 minutes (yes less than 5).
The plane also features a cocktail lounge, and showers, I wasnt entitled to use the showers which is a shame because that would be fun, NUDE IN SPACE, or something, and I only ever got water from the cocktail lounge.
The seat was comfortable enough, quite small though, even for me, yes it does lay flat but they give you a mini bar area in your seat for no good reason as there are un refrigerated drinks in it.
It wasnt full either, not that it matters as much when you have your own accommodation pod, perhaps the best thing was the mattress topper that made the leather seats a lot more comfortable as a bed.
Unfortunately I dont have anything funny to say about the flight, perhaps the next leg to Manchester will provide some more entertainment in the form of people I cant understand due to their speaking of the queens own English.
My seat in all its glory.
Large size screen and foot well, I enjoyed all 3 Kung Fu Panda films.
The useless mini bar area that takes up most of the room of your pod, I guess you can store things on it, but the drinks are hot.
Pretty good amenity kit, I used the toothbrush and hair brush and of course the bvlgari body spray. No pyjamas on Emirates though! I saw some seasoned Qantas Business flyers in their grey pyjamas, looking proud.
You can watch the live feed from multiple cameras which is fun for a few minutes, then just blackness, which is also fun, I stared into the black for an hour or so.
For whatever reason you get this wireless tablet thing to attempt to control the screen with, it is useless, the main screen is also a touch screen and there is also a wired remote, which works about 1000 times better than the wireless touch screen thing.
Part 1 of meal 2 - I tried to choose the lighter options
Part 2 of meal 2 - the lamb was actually delicious. No I dont want wine, no wine, I dont drink, please stop offering me wine, for the last time I dont want wine.
Meal 3 - there were about 8 breakfast options, I chose the light express option due to there being so many meals already and presumably a heap more to come on the leg to Manchester.